communication

La La La La La..... relationships.

hard effing work.... but as i am learning more everyday...so so soooooo worth it.

Just telling my love tonight... when i have things on my heart that i need to discuss.... tensions.... concerns...whatnot.... i fear speaking them. thery are my truths, my vulnerabiities... my most sacred places. I am terrified i will reveal myself with all of my needs and insecurities and he will flee faster than a whore from church. But then I muster up the courage. mostly because i let it simmer until i am sure i will lose my mind. unil every other option, besides telling him, is no longer feasible. Until i'd rather him leave me high and dry than live another moment in my frustration.

I open up.... sometimes it goes more smoothly than others, but i do it. I do it through the hurt. I do it through the fear. And he is there to catch me. There to at least listen even if he doesnt agree. And everytime, we talk it through. He listens to and respects my side- and I in turn listen to and respect his. We reconnect. We see eachother in purity, in respect and in love. Our bonds strengthens and I feel renewed, seen, accepted and supported. It is scary.... but it is soooo worth it.

Hopefully I can practice not waiting so long. Not driving myself insane so i HAVE to tell him. Practice trusting he will be there for me when i need him, because he has proven he will be.